Write down the fear ("I’ll go red and everyone will notice"), do the step, then write what actually happened.
Olivia Bennett, 22
Olivia skipped tutorials to avoid speaking. A 6-week plan of small social experiments, volunteering on Saturdays and metta practice.
University studentSydney, AustraliaIssue: Social anxiety
Where Olivia started
Olivia rehearsed every sentence, sat at the back, and skipped tutorials where she might be asked to speak. She spent evenings scrolling, comparing herself with everyone online.
Goal
Speak once in every tutorial, and do one social thing a week she enjoys.
The science behind the plan
Every step comes from these methods, each backed by published research.
No rehearsing sentences, and looking at people instead of her phone.
A beach clean-up crew every Saturday: a group with a shared job, so talking comes easily.
Source: Jenkinson et al. (2013), Volunteering and wellbeing: systematic review, BMC Public Health
Social media capped at 30 minutes a day, and no scrolling before social events.
Source: Hunt et al. (2018), Limiting social media to 30 minutes a day lowered loneliness and low mood, Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology
A typical day
- Experiment: ask one question in your tutorialScience · 5 min
- Write what you feared, and what really happenedScience · 5 min
- Phone in your bag for the first 10 minutes of classScience · 10 min
- Loving-kindness for yourself and the people you’ll meetFaith · 10 min
Optional faith track
Olivia chose to add these. They sit next to the science steps, never instead of them. Sources are pending scholar review.
Loving-kindness (metta) meditation
Source: Karaniya Metta Sutta, Sutta Nipata 1.8
Why it fits: Turns attention outward and softens the inner critic, like the science steps.
Mindful walking to class
Source: Satipatthana Sutta, Majjhima Nikaya 10
Why it fits: Calm attention to the present instead of rehearsing.
These practices are data-based suggestions drawn from cited sutras. They are not instruction from a monk or Dharma teacher. Please consult a qualified teacher for personal guidance.
Olivia’s calendar
- Done
- Partly done
- Skipped
35 days done, 4 partly done, 3 skipped. Missed days never reset progress.
Week by week
- Weeks 1–2Spotting fears and safety behaviours, and building a ladder from "say hi to the barista" up to "give a presentation".
- Weeks 3–4One experiment most days. Nobody noticed her blushing. She joined the beach clean-up crew.
- Weeks 5–6Speaking in every tutorial. Scrolling down from 3 hours to under 40 minutes a day.
Score, week by week
SPIN (social anxiety)
Lower is better. Her score moved from the high range to the mild range.
What helped most
- Writing down what really happened
- The Saturday clean-up crew
- Phone in the bag
“Every time I tested a fear, it turned out smaller than I thought.”
Where Olivia is now
In week 6 Olivia gave a 5-minute presentation to her class. Afterwards, two people from the clean-up crew asked her to lunch.
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